Decision Safari

Colorful on a Gloomy Day...

Color on a Gloomy Day.  Mood and Shoes implied.

S:  Yesterday I made one of the most difficult decisions in my life.  I knew it was coming, and I’d been advised to remember what is most important… all part of the continuing career vs. caregiver saga…

A:  My dear grandmother is ill yet filled with lots of “vinegar.”  Her and I have had some hard but wonderful years together.  Even though I am her caregiver, I rarely admit that she takes just as much care of me as I do her.  Recently, her need for care spiked and required immediate attention.  Yet my work was to be in Boston, at NSTA National, where we would launch our state and national programs, both of which I’m a Project Manager for.  In fact, the senior leadership team wanted the curriculum developers there to help usher in the new programs.  The trip was a once in a lifetime opportunity.

F:  Is it the company we keep, and not that we work for, that is most important?

A:  I’ve made difficult decisions before.  The very word decision, ‘de-‘ meaning other and ‘-cide’ meaning kill, literally means to kill the alternative.  I moved here all by myself nearly five years ago, I chose the life of a caregiver at a young age, and I bought the brightest shoes I’ve ever seen in the world.  But this time, it was different because the consequences in either case weighed the same, but inverse.  If I go, she might be alone.  If I stay, I might be alone.

R:  I arranged all of my grandmother’s companion and medical care for my absence, thinking it enough to leave with.  Instead, this is the update I sent to our friends and family; “So my body drove to the airport, but my gut pulled me over and had a talk with my brain and heart to realize there was no way I could leave for three days, and then my body drove back to the hospital where my conscience was.”

I: As Yogi Berra once said, ‘when one comes to a fork in the road, take it.’

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